I’m tired of having things spoiled for me. And I don’t mean *SPOILER ALERT* warnings on Twitter, like how Walter White [REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED] on the last episode of Breaking Bad. (But really… how good will that finale be this week?!)
No, I’m tired of knowing everything about everything before I even get to experience it. I’m only 25, but I still long for the days where you would see one trailer for a movie, think, “That looks good,” then go see it on that alone. Now, we’re bombarded with so many trailers that someone was able to piece together 25 minutes (that’s 18 percent!!) of last year’s The Amazing Spider-Man based just on the trailer footage released to the public. That’s ridiculous! For whatever reason, Marvel and Columbia Pictures felt the need to release nearly a fifth of the film before any of us even had the chance to see it in theaters.
Trailers have gotten so bad at hiding plot points that I’ve begun to avoid them altogether. If there’s a movie coming out that I know I want to see, I try not to watch a single trailer for it. Why should I? I know I’m going to see it and I’m probably already excited for it… why spoil several minutes of the film’s best moments?
Take a look at this trailer for the upcoming reboot of Carrie. For anyone who’s seen the original, can you think of any major plot point this trailer leaves out? Me neither. Unless the reboot is going to add a whole new element to the original, anyone planning on seeing Carrie for the first time had the film spoiled by a two-and-a-half minute trailer.
We can’t all be Alfred Hitchcock. We don’t have the time and money to spend on creating six-and-a-half minute teasers that ramp up excitement without spoiling anything. But maybe we should try a little harder to hold our secrets close to our vest.
Spoiler fever has spread its way to tech. Think back earlier this month when Apple showed off the iPhone 5s and 5c for the first time. Leading up to the event, there were dozens of leaked documents, photos and videos that pretty much spelled out exactly what the two new phones would hold. There was no surprise on the day of the announcement. Anyone even casually following tech news pretty much knew what Apple would be showing off that day.
Do we really all hate waiting that much? It’s a cultural thing, I guess. And an internet thing. We all need to know everything as fast as humanly possible. Don’t you wish we could have a major release that didn’t have four months’ worth of leaks and previews and teasers leading up to it? Don’t you wish something could take you by surprise for the first time in a while? I do.
But maybe I’m alone in that regard.