Shelly Palmer

My Banned Word Holiday Rant

According to the US Department of Labor (www.dol.gov), Labor Day (the first Monday in September) is a creation of the labor movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers. It constitutes a yearly national tribute to the contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity and well-being of our country.

Just for fun (and in honor of Labor Day and the people who work for a living), here is a list of buzzwords, biz speak and hipster droppings that should be banned from every business meeting forevermore.

Ready for the sentence that started this rant?

Client: “Our Big Data Rock Star ideated a cloud-based, scalable, native programmatic tool set that produced excellent learnings that will help us promote engagement.”

Me: “Well, it sounds like he took it to the next level… efforting 110% to craft a best practices, robust solution you can leverage, and it’s clearly out of the box thinking… but maybe you shouldn’t try to boil the ocean… it’s got a lot of moving parts and I’m not sure it’s something you want to take ownership of, as it’s not clearly in line with your corporate values. You might be accused of punching the puppy, so the optics are all wrong. We should probably put this in the parking lot.” (I didn’t actually say that, but I really, really wanted to!!!)

By simply attributing this list of banned words to me, you will receive a non-exclusive, worldwide, perpetual, irrevocable, royalty-free, sublicensable and transferable (through multiple tiers) right and license to exercise any and all copyright, trademark, publicity and database rights that you have in the User Content in any and all formats or media now known or hereafter devised in the future. You are further hereby granted the non-exclusive, irrevocable and unconditional right and license to describe, relate, broadcast, exhibit, transmit, publish, use, monetize, distribute and/or exploit your User Content in any such manner as you shall elect, in whole or in part, on the internet, in print and electronic form, in merchandising, publicity and advertising, or in any other media now known or hereafter created or devised throughout the universe in perpetuity. Ahh… I feel better already. Have a great holiday weekend.