Of the big four annual award specials, the Grammys is the most entertaining most people watch (because of the music performances and willingness to experiment with unique star pairings or collaborations), the Tony is the most entertaining few people watch (because Broadway theater is not nationally accessible the same way other art forms are, so there’s little rooting interest beyond New York) and the Emmys is its own animal, as in hodgepodge.
Which leads us to the Academy Awards, year after year for this observer the most frustrating ceremony to see, although (at a far lower audience level than earlier decades) it remains the highest-rated of this quartet. What’s supposed to be a celebration of a year in movies often ends up a few hours of rambunctious, amateurish and often boring TV. Not to mention frustrating, since you usually have to wait until after 11:30 p.m. on the East Coast to view who wins the big categories. An annual presentation devoted to as visually exciting a medium as their is should not be visually clueless.
As a public service, here’s a five-part plan to transform the Oscars into a program both worthy of the art form it represents and worthy of your annual attention on ABC. Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences, listen up and wise up.
1) Start the show at 8 p.m. Eastern time. Not the pre-show, not the red carpet, the show. The Grammys, Tonys and Emmys start at 8 p.m. Why not Oscar? Do this and you’ll automatically have a fighting chance to end at or just after 11 p.m. Eastern time–same as the other awards.
2) Limit the technical awards played in full on the telecast to the three most-demonstrative of the art and most appealing to viewers: cinematography, film editing and visual effects. Take the rest (sound, sound editing, etc.), hand the awards out pre-ceremony and do a five-minute recap on the telecast. You easily save 15-20 minutes right there.
3) The most controversial point of the five–take the short subject and documentary categories and give them their own two-hour specials somewhere else. For the most part, short subjects and documentaries do not get wide play in theaters (Pixar shorts and documentaries like Hoop Dreams and Michael Moore’s work the rare exceptions), so there’s no rooting interest when these awards are presented. You don’t know the players. Seperate two-hour specials, carried by networks like Turner Classic Movies, TNT, Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon, Bravo, Ovation, The Documentary Channel, etc. give these categories a shot at wider exposure. With the short subject categories, you can run these subjects in their entirety. With both genres, you have time for segments with the filmmakers and you can give the awards out live at the end. More time to know the players and their work, more opportunity for the Academy to promote its good works, more advertising revenue and broader viewership. You can’t get more win-win for all involved than that. With these two-hour specials in place, again do a five-minute recap on the main telecast and save another 15-20 minutes.
4) Show what people want to see most–film clips of the year’s best movies, including full scenes from each Best Picture nominee. Stress the clips, not the usually inane celebrity banter. Film is your medium, Academy. Make the max of it.
5) Give us full performances of each Best Song nominee, with the original singer on stage. And don’t muck up the songs with dance numbers badly conceived for both the Oscar stage and the viewers at home, ending up an injustice to the dancers performing. If Dancing With The Stars director Alex Rudinski is calling the shots and working with a top choreographer on a particular number, I’ll give that number a chance.
There you have it–a five-point plan to rescue the Academy Awards from its current permutation to something you really look forward to each mid-winter. As Craig Ferguson declares, I look forward to your e-mails. Academy, what say you?
Until the next time, stay well and stay tuned!